Scotland and Back

Now I've been home and back. Not really much to report other than Inland Empire is a confusing film, Edinburgh is shiny and most of the people seem unchanged.

It was only three weeks ago Danny was telling me at lunch about the amazing ghost walk he and Becca had gone on in Edinburgh. His stories were so eerie I decided I'd like to go on the tour myself. I'd forgotten how fascinating a history Edinburgh and Lothian had, like Sawney Bean (coincidentally I've just watched the Hills Have Eyes for the first time last night and it's based off Sawney Bean's gruesome legend).

We combined our tour with a visit to the National Museum of Scotland and visited the Pixar exhibit (which really wasn't that great in my not-so-humble opinion). The ghost tour was fun and did nothing to dissuade me of the fact that on my triumphant return to Scotland with my millions, I -really- want to live in Edinburgh's old town. However those vaults are really unnerving - not helped by the fact moisture drips onto you from the ceiling. At least I wasn't as daft as Steve who actually entered the stone circle of cursedness that has caused bad stuff to happen to other tour members in the past. However being a humble fellow Stevie boy did it when the guide wasn't looking. We have had no visual confirmation of Steve's existence from this point on - I sure hope it isn't a ghost texting me.

Probably the most scary bit was when some big daftie lept out of the shadows in the outside corridor while we were plunged into darkness inside the vault. Everyone else saw this and screamed some curse. I on the other hand was wondering if Steve was about to play some prank on me in the pitch black and was staring in his general direction rather than the door. Speed of light being faster than speed of sound I was the last person to let out a yelp, which was vaguely amusing.

Other than that and discovering the Green Wing it was a good if uneventful trip home. I'm back at work now, with a harsh regimen of marking broken only by pub lunches, ice-cream and discovering how many uses you can have for traffic cones in the PhD student office.

Doctor Who Witterings 2

I listened to the entire season of Doctor Who that were on BBC 7. Highly recommended. Paul McGann as you may know is my favourite Doctor and Sheridan Smith from Two Pints of Lager is his assistant, and suspiciously similar to her Two Pints character.

It was a long journey from Dundee to Leicester, so here is my thoughts on all of them (except the Dalek 2 parter which I probably wittered on about anyway). If you only listen to 1, make it Immortal Beloved.

Horror of Glam Rock - Not as funny as the clever as the title suggested, this still got a chuckle off me. The Glam Rock version of the Doctor Who theme is on my want list however.

Immortal Beloved - Clever story featuring a group of humans posing as members of the Greek pantheon and effectively living forever via cloning and memory transfer. Sufficiently angsty.

Phobos - Very nice episode about a fear elemental feeding off the extreme sports fanatics using the moon Phobos as a holiday retreat.

No More Lies - Didn't really get this one. I think it tried to be too clever by jumping in mid-story for the Doctor and Lucy. I think if I'd paid more attention to it than the road I would've appreciate it more. However if I'd done that I might not be here to blog this.

Human Resources - Excellent idea and everything the TV show's relatively disappointing finales should be. The Office meets Transformers meets Star Wars. This two parter sees the Doctor trying to rescue his companion only to destroy a warmachine masquerading as a corporate office only to discover it was in fact hired to keep the cybermen in check.

I also listened to Scaredy Cat (very short, not bad, but not fantastic) and Other Lives (steampunk and very, very good if a little contrived). These feature McGann and his companions are jolly-posh Charley Pollard and dull-as-dishwater "whoo I can change colour, oh I'm on radio" C'Rizz, who has not gotten any more likable and is in fact a psychopath. This might get interesting but from the reviews I've read C'Rizz is relatively undeveloped after this point. However the next two audios to come out with McGann are:-

101 Absolution
· October 2007
· 8th Doctor,
Charley, C'rizz

103 The Girl Who Never Was
· December 2007
· 8th Doctor,
Charley

There is no C'Rizz in 103, and the Girl Who Never Was may be a reference to the paradox arc that Charley had in the halcyon days of McGann's Seasons 1 and 2. Charley was supposed to die in the R101 aircrash, but the Doctor saved her.

Seems to me they're "resolving" McGann's old companions in favour of Sheridan Smith. I just hope C'Rizz dies in some heroic and interesting way.

Doctor Who Witterings 1

Gridlock eh?

That was actually pretty darn good for a RTD episode. Admittedly it contained several things about his stories I don't like - like the gay grannies and a disturbing way of producing kittens. I still maintain the year 5 billion is way too far in the future for humanity to look 21st century, though if New Earth was some sort of museum throwback that could explain. It still think by 5 billion humans would be like the Vorlons in Babylon 5.

Also didn't exactly buy it that people would wait years in a traffic queue. People aren't exactly patient these days in traffic.

On the other hand it the Doctor talking about Gallifrey was cool, the SFX were awesome and it was actually quite a nice idea if a little wonky. If it were set on another planet than New Earth in a different time period where people had evolved to a state of waiting for traffic it would've been awesome.

The Face of Boe has finally revealed his secret, although if the Doctor had got a hold of the Doctor Who 2006 annual he'd have already known what Boe was going to say. I hope this means either the Master is back this season, or some Timelord tech is being used by/on Mister Saxon. Preferrably the Master though. Overall Season 3 is much better than Season 2 - but I believe Boe's arc was supposed to kick off in Season 2 but was dereailed by the imminent departure of one Miss Piper.

New Job: Change, and not a moment too soon.

My time at the University of Leicester is drawing to a close now. Strangely I'm going to miss working there, or rather I'm going to miss a lot of my friends that I've worked with. Not that I'm leaving Leicester, just that I'm not going to be about the campus much.

It's a Research Fellow job, which is nice as I can say I'm a Fellow of DMU, rather than a demonstrator. Too many people think that I wander round with placards for a living. Also it means I'll hopefully get more time to myself without mad swathes of people queuing at my door because they broke their web server/C++ program, and the old "Can I bother you on your lunchbreak, because it's not like the other 100 or so students also feel like they can bother you at this exact time daily." I'm also pretty certain B. doesn't also work at DMU, which is a major plus.

Career wise, all going well, it also means in 2 years time I'll have a pretty major post-doc under my belt and be looking at the coveted lecturer post, the harem, the rock and roll lifestyle, the room full of cash I can swim in with my Scrooge McDuck accent and the fleet of fast cars in the basement. Or one of the above.

But you don't want to know all that! You want to know the story of how I got the job. I was going to blog it in January but I wasn't 100% til the contract landed on my door on career moves are the few things I don't blog in case someone interviewing me googles me.

After being invited to interview I knew B. would be in a foul mood the day before the interview, as his ability to wind me up works on some weird intuitive level. True to form that Thursday B. had a pretty good go at me, and to be honest it was probably the most abusive he'd ever been. He started aggrendizing his own role in the office and calling myself, A. and even G. lazy twats. He swore and yelled, amusingly audible to the students outside who came to me with questions and rather worried looks on their faces. In all fairness I got a few jabs in myself, but without yelling or swearing. By the time he finally shut his proverbial geggy I was resolved to escape the shackles of my current job. I should really thank him - if it weren't for him I'd probably end up a 50 year old demonstrator.

Thanks to his diatribe and latest tantrum I instantly made the decision that instead of going fencing that evening and ending up in the pub afterwards I would go home and have a pretty through read of my notes on the department, do some last minute nip/tuck to my presentation and do some studying.

I was pretty emotionally exhausted when I got home (being verbally abused does that to you) but I was elated when I got an email telling me my 1st journal paper was being accepted - useful when you're applying for a research job. Clearly the stars were aligned correctly for this latest adventure?

I went for the interview on literally the last day of the Christmas term. In addition to a nasty C++ quiz they sprung on me without warning (which I would go on to spend all Xmas silently obsessing about and picking holes in my probably misremembered answers) I had to give a presentation on my research interests. I'd managed to retrofit a PhD presentation to be 10 minutes and include a rather nifty animation that might have been useful if I'd thought of it 5 years ago.

Anyroads, fast forward to the 3rd of January, Dundee and I received a phonecall telling me I hadn't got the job, but that I'd impressed them so much they wanted to 'unofficially' offer me another identical job they had in the offing. I was pretty happy to say the least, as the thought of telling B. to shove his head wherever the sun don't shine in his anatomy.

However after the elation I waited and waited, returned from Xmas hols and went back to work. No sooner had I got back to work than my boss called me into his office and asked me why DMU had interviewed me in December and were currently asking him for a reference in mid-January. He had put 2 and 2 together and got 4 - I was going to jump ship shortly. At this time all I could tell him was more news would be imminent.

Anyroads what emerged from this was a circle of sheer frustration - January became February. February became March. My friends were wondering why I hadn't jumped ship. Some were too polite to ask, while others were a little curious. My bosses were ever so slightly keen to know if/when I was leaving as they asked me about my new job every week or so. My contact at DMU kept telling me everything would fall into place soon. I really wished they'd not bothered with the references until they were ready - I was going to keep the new job under my hat until it was official. By the end of January I think the only person who didn't know at work was B.

Then finally at the end of March I got confirmation - things were moving forwards. Of course while they were happy for me to spend 3 months wondering they aren't too happy if I am kept to my full notice period so I've had to negotiate leaving at the end of the May. Which is not long when you factor in holidays etc.

DMU's Computer Science department is in the really spiffy engineering building. Which is nice as its a modern tower, not a 1970s concrete monstrosity like the Chilly Will building - where the lifts and electric doors fail to work on a windy day, the labs are not waterproof and yet money is spent on refurnishing the 6 or so restaurants on a regular basis. The DMU office block I saw around looks really modern, and it's open plan so no more arguing over having the door open.

I'm a little worried - it's only a 2 year contract, meaning once that's over I'll possibly be needing another new job. 2 years isn't as long as it used to be. On the other hand I didn't have any intention of staying in Leicester for 2 more years in my current job, but on the other hand I'd be sad to leave.

This is probably as big as it gets for a while. As most of you know this blog was set up in 2005 when I moved from Dundee to Leicester to stay in touch with you. Now I'm moving from Leicester to uh... Leicester, but in some ways it feels like a bigger move.

Tolkien's Newest Novel?

I really must fire my intelligence gatherers, because there's a new flipping book by Tolkein coming out called Children of Hurin. Assuming it's not another Silmarillion it'll be bubbling up my list of things to read. Expect a review by 2010.

I've Got Good News

That TV show I like is going to finally come out on DVD!

Yes, they have released Season 2 of Twin Peaks on DVD in the States finally. They only realised Series 1 five years ago!

Oh, and here's a page of all David Lynch's commercials including the Georgia coffee ads - the man's a true artist who would never

sell out... ah dammit.

Wil Wheaton vs. Wil Shatner

Ever since I started reading WilWheaton.com I've wanted to know the William F. Shatner story, and his book isn't exactly stocked over here in the UK. Thanks to the web here is part one and part two of the ego-master in action.

Dr. Stu on Dr. Who 3

I watched the first episode after returning from Edinburgh and was extremely tired but it didn't seem too bad. Martha at least has some useful skills - being a nearly-qualified doctor means she should be quite an asset to the Doctor, who tends not to be big on repairing the damage he inadvertantly creates. The whole hospital thing was alright - though Martha was perhaps a little too cool with it while everyone else went to pieces. Perhaps she suffers slightly from being a little blazé about danger (this is RTD's way of putting a "Companion Badge" on her perhaps?), but not to the ridiculous extent of Rose in series 2. However she's only been around for about 2 episodes, so I worry about her later wise-cracking. I will rewatch it on my Sky box next week while I'm recording it onto disc.

Also one thing I am most assuredly not waiting for is the Jones family soap opera. Daddy Jones is shacked up with a dolly-bird blondie, who I am sure will inevitably prove to be the most annoying character in the show next to Rose. I imagine she will get quite tiresome and will inevitably end up captured/possessed/whatever.

The second episode, the Shakespeare Code, was very, very good. A lot of work went into getting the period just right, though this seemed a bit wasted since our main characters as usual made no effort to blend in and dress/act appropriately and I felt they give old Tremblestaff too much of the old common touch. At least the humour wasn't as jarringly forced as Tooth and Claw, last year's historical episode. Then again this wasn't an RTD episode.

I liked the villians. Nearly as cool as the Ood. I hope the Carrionates come back at some point - the main witch villainess was disturbingly hot. I worry about me sometimes. Well someone has to. Sadly they probably won't come back - they're not an RTD creation. To wit, next week - we return to New Earth. Because like all RTD's "innovations" it was so good it simply had to be revisited (cue rants about the year 5 billion looking a little too much like 2007). On the other hand if this kickstarts the whole Last of the Timelords plotline it might be worth watching.

Rose seems to be getting namechecked a little too much for me. She wasn't that great. Get over it, Doc.

Otherwise, much better season so far.

Do The Latin!

Awesome sketch - move it, it's UCAS!

Roleplaying Nationals 2007

Yes - it's that time of year again, the Student Nationals (though these days you'll be hard pushed to find a student there), this time in Edinburgh to prevent it from constantly going back and forth from Bradford and Sheffield. See how well that works out in a moment or two...

The journey up was pretty okay except for a major jam outside York - but eventually I was over the border to Jedburgh - which looked cool, epic and misty. About 2 hours later I was working with no directions to get myself booked in and registered, but by 8pm I was all set, and the Pollock Halls in Edinburgh are very, very spiffy. After much reunioning (is that a verb? It is now) I went to sleep, utterly shattered.

A really nice breakfast started off the day well, and I found my game where I was reunited with J... for the 3rd time in 4 years. The first game was run using the Hero system - a system so complicated the rulebook could foil presidential assassination attempts if worn under plain clothes and made Rolemaster seem like a simplistic and common sense rules system.

The premise of this game was that there was a great darkness rising in the north. A band of heroes were to be assembleed to kill it. We were all Greek heroes from myths and legend. Actually it's fairer to say the rest of the party were Greek heroes and I was playing a pathetic Greek tragedy. We went north, found a dark chimera, killed it and stopped the titans making more monsters.

The party consisted of Perseus, an immortal wrestler made of stone who takes his power from Mother Earth, the god Hermes in mortal form for a laugh and Aesipicles - an actor and healer so great he could raise the dead with sheer force of will and persuade titans to commit suicide by eating copious amounts of hemlock.

Then there was me, playing Daedalus of the Daedalus and Icarus double act. I was apparently a genius, having invented flying wings (not so good for Icarus as I'm sure you'll recall) and built the labyrinth for King Minas (something which apparently labelled me as a traitor to the rest of Greece, but hey-ho). Essentially from reading and rereading my superpowers they were:-

1. Dig 4 inches per second through solid wall. And organise up to 8 people to dig at the same rate.


2. Raise or lower the ambient temperature of the camp site by 4 degrees. This would turn out to be my greatest offensive power later on in the scenario.


3. Fly if I had a long runway or cliff. My DM seriously said he thought he had actually removed this power from the sheet, given how overwhelmingly overpowered I clearly was with the other 2 powers.

I also had the Hammer of Haephestus, which given Haeph is the god-armourer I assumed would stack with my inventor abilities to let me build ridiculously fast cool invention things. Sadly it only served to boost my minor combaty abilities.

It's fair to say I was more than a little underwhelmed by the patheticness of my character, particularly as the rest of the party were capable of summoning Zeus, throwing lightning bolts from the sky, creating sacrificial white cows out of the ether and other silliness. I didn't understand the system but an additional couple of facts were slowly explained to me during the game by the DM:-

1. As I had the lowest Dex score I always went last in combat, that is if there was still a combat after all the god-like heroes launched their powers etc. The DM frequently forgot to remember my character in initiative order so the low Dex was less of an issue at times.


2. My character, with his amazing strength and god-forged hammer could not actually wound the 1 big creature in the game. We found this out when I spent £2 on rerolls to get 35 on 7 dice and still failed to do anything beyond minor bruising. I renamed the Hammer of Haephaestus "the rubber mallet of the gods" from that point on.

I could however console myself that with my god-given digging powers I would at least be able to dig a hasty grave for anyone who messed with the rest of the party and that nearly everyone in the party was strong enough to throw my character into the air, eliminating the need for a runway.

My most useful moment in the game pretty much went as follows:-

DM: "There are 3 monsters sneaking up on you. Roll to see if you spot them."
SK: "Me? Why, can't they find someone worthwhile to attack? Okay I'll roll." (rolls and fails, pretty much a constant throughout this game)
DM: "The camp suddenly seems to feel colder. What are you doing?"
SK (reading character sheet): "Hey, it says here I can raise the temperature around me by four degrees purely by will. Since I think the night is just getting cooler I walk up to the fire, mutter something and the fire leaps back to life, causing the temperature to go back to something comfortable."
DM: "Er..." (flips through his notes) "The monsters sneaking up on you are some sort of cooled misty air monsters so the temperature change actually damages them." (rolls some dice) "They all die, turning into steam and evaporating."
SK: "But I didn't see this so I probably hear the hissing of steam, turn round and shrug."
DM: "Right. But then 3 more identical monsters turn up and attack - it was the temperature changing that harmed them, not the actual temperature. And as you are completely unaware of killing the first 3 you will not know to change the temperature again. They attack. And go first."
SK: "I hate you and everything you stand for."

(actually I didn't say the last bit, but I was tempted to. It was a pretty funny incident in an utterly pathetic way)

It's pretty accurate to say Game 1 was not my cup of tea. Or even my ideal stool sample. It did however mean I no longer had to worry about ranking in my category, allowing me free to enjoy Sunday's game all the more. But more on that later.

The evening continued with a pretty cool geek pub quiz. I was disowned by DMU Games Soc for playing with DURPS (they only had 3 players at one point) as up until the last utterly random round we were in the lead despite the fact there was a wargames round and our only wargamer left to have dinner. It was a pretty impressive showing though given it was a 6 round pub quiz with 2 additional sheets of questions and we eventually ranked 3rd. Suffice it to say all those Mondays in the Marquis have paid off, as has my knowledge of Dragonlance and Bill Murray's career.

Add to that some drunken mirth until the wee hours of the morning, where I went to bed leaving Six Foot Hobbit more or less sober with Big Bad John from Vague only to find him looking so utterly forlorn and hungover that he thought my cheery cries of "Morning" were some sort of cutting insult.

Sunday's game was Pendragon and the guy running it knew his stuff. The scenario was slightly familiar though - there was a great darkness rising in the north. A band of heroes were to be assembleed to kill it. We were all young knights sent by King Arthur to investigate. I was actually a competent knight with no skill in digging. We went north, found a dark wyrm and killed it.

Way better than the first game despite the suspiciously similar plot. The interplay was better and my character was actually useful for more than carrying the torches. We even had a player versus player joust over the small matter of one of the knights killing peasants after I'd negotiated a truce with the peasants. Add to that an entourage of a possibly gay/disguised female squire, another that was a hypochondriac, a French knight with an outrageous accent, a sneaky git killing after the whistle was clearly blown and a holy relic that I'm convinced came out of Blackadder's "Sacred Appendage Compendium Party Pack" it was a very good game.

And so, after more socialising and Sheffield literally stealing first place in the beginning minutes of prize giving it was a good nationals. And next year it will be in Sheffield... again. Very convenient for me!

Overall good nationals. The only question is who do I play for next year - Dundee or DeMontfort Uni? Well DMU have a free minibus apparently. ;)

In Which Our Hero Loses His Shirt, Regains His Vertigo and Goes North

Much to tell, but as I'm returning to Dundee via Edinburgh today I'm going to have to truncate.

Had a pretty interesting weekend last week. Friday was the Casino Night where once more bedecked in national dress I went to a casino and discovered the dress code was a little more lax than we were expecting. With a whiff of sleaze, smoke and desperation the place was interesting, and the meal we had was very American. I also lost money as usual which put me in a little bit of a foul mood - all too foul for the smart-witted cab driver on the way home who remarked on my kilt. Overall, good night, but I have crap luck even at Blackjack.

On Saturday I went to Stratford-upon-Avon is really nice. Terribly touristy, but very nice. We were shown round Shakespeare's House (pictured). Claudia went round the exhibit at a decent pace while we slow coaches were eventually prompted to go from the exhibit to the actual house by the security man who told us we had 15 minutes left to actually see the real attractions.



Inside the house we fell victim to the eager-guide. All the other guides, realising the lateness of the hour, looked at their watches and gave us minimal information on our surrounding, while eager-guide was all too eager to wax lyrical on the many subtleties of the house. This was great for us, but Claudia, now trapped in the house's gift shop while waiting on us overheard the rest of the staff grumbling about how we'd never leave because eager-guide was talking to us.

After that it was on to the RSC and their vertigo inducing balcony for a most excellent performance of Coriolanus, which was excellent and is very action packed in the first half for one of the Bard's wordy witticisms. It's the first Shakespeare play I've ever seen live and I really enjoyed it.



The rest of the week was equally manic. Work has been excessively hellish this week - it seems to be impossible to get anything done without someone banging on the door and one student even demanded to know my holiday plans so as to know my exact location and availability throughout their 5 week holiday. Needless to say I was not impressed! However I got through it all, though I would describe my mood as ratty at best by the end of it. I need a holiday.

Which is precisely what I will have. I'm off to Edinburgh for the Student Roleplaying Nationals. It's a misnomer as hardly anyone there is a student and I am allegedly represting DeMontfort University even though I am not a member of their society and I think I know exactly 3 people in my team. However the good and great of DURPS will be there, and I guess those loud weirdos from Stirling will be trying to attract as much attention as they can. In previous years it's been fun (though clearly in 2004 I was in a bad mood, thesis writing and no sleep y'know).

More excitement soon I promise!

Chad Vader Episode 7

Hope it's better than 6.

My Book Problem

I realised on Friday after I made a mad-dash to the second hand book stores at lunch time and bought some George R.R. Martin books for £1.50 each that I have a problem. I keep buying 2nd hand books. Currently my reading list is as follows:-

• The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant (three volumes)


• The Second Chronicles of Thomas Covenant (three volumes)


• A Song of Fire and Ice: A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin (thousands of people have recommended this one to me, though the 900 page count is a little off-putting to be honest)


• A Song of Fire and Ice: A Clash of Kings by George R.R. Martin (I think it's thicker than it's predecessor)


• Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy (like all of it, the 5 volumes plus some additional material thrown in)


• Michael Moorcock's Elric


• Star Trek: The Return (of Shatner) and the one after that


• The Third Chronicles of Thomas Covenant (four volumes, not three as I reported originally, by the time I finish the 1st and 2nd chronicles)


• Dune and Dune Messiah (been meaning to read these for a while)


• Earthsea Quartet Books 3 and 4 (to give you some idea of my pace I read books 1 & 2 on the train when I had my interview at Leicester)

I should point out this only includes the books I have brought down to Leicester - there are all-too numerous musty tomes sitting on my massive bookshelf back in Dundee. However I did read Lord of the Rings in its entirety before I left for the Madlands.

The sad fact is I am a slow reader. On a good day I read about 50 pages per hour - as I insist on digesting every word and rereading everything until the imagery is crystal clear in my head. To wit, so far I am 175 pages into the first book of the first Chronicle of Thomas Covenant. I do really recommend it - particularly if you like Tolkien, which I do. It's really good but I've been reading it for over a month on and off (admittedly I was off for 3 weeks as I was too busy watching TV)! After sitting in front of a monitor the last thing I seem to want to do is wear my eyes out further and read a good book.

I used to read a lot on the bus to work, but then I started driving. I learned very quickly that other drivers on the road consider it to be a little inconsiderate if you read while driving, plus turning the pages is a little difficult. I tried audiobooks on my walkman, but unfortunately I'm a fidget and constantly lose the place when I'm out for a walk. I think I-Pods are more geared towards e-books anyroads.

If I ever read all of the above (I am somewhat dubious I ever will) I also have my eyes on a couple of other titles. There's a lovely black embossed hardback containing all Robert E. Howard's stories in Waterstones these days, and since books seem to have the sole purpose of sitting on my bookshelf I might as well buy this shiny edition. Also a certain overgrown hobbit fellow might be interested in Shadows over Baker's Street - Sherlock Holmes meets the Cthulhu mythos. Bound to be worth a look.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

In keeping with recent traditions of drinking Guinness, getting blotto and blogging drunkenly in a manner consistent with a certain Irish blogger and chum I'd just like to wish you all a Happy St. Patrick's Day and assure you I practiced my usual brand of temperance.



Stereo-drinking - the way of the future.

Anniversaries and Dancing

This week was the 25th anniversary of the Leicester Uni Computer Science department. It was also my 2nd anniversary of working there. That adds up to the total of my age. Go figure.

Celebrations involved plenty of entertaining lectures and some cakes bearing the likeness of the sundry buildings the department has been based in. However that is only the background for a more amusing tale - I spent most of these lectures trying to stop my anxiously growling stomach from heckling the speakers.

(But first, some cake. I think I wound up eating the student labs - which were a bit crunchy, probably because of the inmates)



You see I'd somehow been persuaded to take up ballroom dancing in preperation for a formal ball that was that evening. Quite how I got myself into that I can't actually remember. My attempts to learn everything the night before I felt I wasn't very good at it - in fact I would describe my first lesson as traumatising, so my stomach was telling the rest of me it was a little scared for some reason.

However everything was moderately okay on the night, and it was a good excuse to try out one of my two newest acquisitons - the kilt outfit that arrived a few weeks back (the other one is a very cheap multiregion DVD recorder, I love ebay). About a month ago I realised since I spend nearly £40 each time I rent a kilt or other formal wear I should really just buy some. I somehow managed to score an entire outfit including shoes, sporran, sghian dhu etc. on ebay for £70, so I was bedecked in National Dress for this soiree (and only narrowly avoided punching some weird accented guy on the road to the Uni for saying I had a nice dress, or 'nice dreeesse' as he seemed to think it was pronounced).

Anyroads my technique needs a lot of work - say about 51 more weeks of lessons - but fortunately my partners were reasonably understanding. In fact Claudia and I seemed to find our little mistakes quite amusing and seemed to just stop for a good laugh at the fact I didn't have much of a clue. For some reason I can't fathom the band took it upon themselves to play the Gay Gordons, an old acquaintance from Scottish country dancing lessons at school and suddenly the situation was reversed and I knew what I was doing (or at least enough to appear that way). Unfortunately most other people didn't and a grand melee of folks crashing ensued. However I think this is a photo of me doing my funky stuff:-



So, interesting times as I continue my whole renaissance man bit.

Uzi-Totting Robots

Yes, now you too can own your own Uzi-Totting Robot (tm) because killing in cold blood still isn't efficient enough these days, it needs to be automated.

JERUSALEM (Reuters) — An Israeli defense firm on Thursday unveiled a portable robot billed as being capable of entering most combat zones alone and engaging enemies with an onboard armory that includes a machine-pistol and grenades.

The VIPeR, roughly the size of a small television, was invented as part of Israel's efforts to develop weaponry that could reduce the risks to its forces from hand-to-hand fighting against Palestinian or Lebanese Hezbollah guerrillas.

2 Years

Today marks the second anniversary of me starting work in Leicester. Yes, a mere 2 years ago I was involved in a life-or-death struggle for a library card, catching the studenty bus into work and living in Manorcroft on Manor Road, Leicester, living off microwave food as TPTB in halls decided I didn't need an oven. That's the wonderful thing about blogs - you can relive all the happy memories.

I'm going to mark the occassion by going home as soon as possible and consuming some microchips or something unpalatable.

Someone please get me out of here... :)

More Highlander Ramblings

And you thought that my obsessive Highlander posting was over right? Well, wrong, 'cos not only did they bring out a new movie (Highlander the Source) which is supposedly being reedited to be less silly and (hopefully) have an ending but they've been doing an anime for quite some time now.

It's called Highlander: The Search for Vengeance and stars Colin Macleod.

That's right, this is apparently a new continuity with a fourth Highlander. So far there's been Connor Macleod (original and best, now roughly 8 inches shorter in the series continuity), Duncan Macleod (made-for-TV goody-goody heart-throb preferred by older women) and Quentin Macleod (animated cartoon series for kids guy with red hair). Now he have the amazingly named Colin.

Actually one trailer's been out for ages:-



But now there's a much longer and slower non-YouTube trailer that looks okay. Here it is, but be prepared to go for coffee while it streams.

As for me, anime's not really my thing. Watched Akira, thought it was alright but not what I expected, watched Ghost in the Shell, thought it was pretentious though some of the stuff I occassionally peered at while living in Casa Al.

Elf Steals Lingerie

The sad thing is I know people who I can believe would do something like this.

A man accused of a stealing underwear from a shop in a knifepoint raid believed he was a female elf at the time, Belfast Crown Court has heard.

Robert Boyd, 45, from Broadlands in Carrickfergus, is accused of holding up staff at the Orchid shop in Belfast disguised in a wig, hat and glasses.

He told the court he had been involved in a role-playing game at the time, and his character was an elf named Beho.

He denies robbery but says he may have blurred reality and fantasy.

He also said it "could be right" that Beho had intended to rob the shop - although he told the jury he could not remember what was going through his mind at the time.

He told defence counsel Anthony Cinnamond that within his small social circle he had been participating in a game known as Shadowrun.


Meh... that's what you get for playing poorly thought out dark future games for far too long. Never really liked Shadowrun myself.

More Wing Commander

I just wanted to post this video as it's so cool - these games put almost as much effort into their losing videos as they did their winning games. There were 2 losing endings in Wing Commander 3 - the grovelling ending and a pretty cool if downbeat ending. Here is both of them:-

New Wing Commander

Yes, believe it or not there is a new Wing Commander coming out of nowhere - Wing Commander Arena. As the name suggests it will be multiplayer geared, and I suspect there won't be much of a plotline. And it's XBox only currently.

In the meantime here's some of the coolest bits of Wing Commander 4, again:-

Badgered

I have returned to work after a few days holed up with the lurgy and am now more powerful that an unimaginative fool could possibly imagine. I am a badge carrying member of staff now - the badge I ordered for UCAS days to identify me as a staff member has arrived, and only a day before the last of my UCAS days.

As a badge carrying member of the Uni I can now stop people in the street . I will now get the best seats in cinemas, be given the "special" table at restaurants and casinos and am able to commandeer vehicles.

Now before you get an image of me on a motorbike riding through the corridors of Leicester Uni Judge Dredd style as an insight into how things work around here I received a phonecall telling me it's the wrong type of badge - it's fastened by a safety pin and would therefore could put holes in my nice shirt. I am therefore getting another badge. Possibly before the UCAS day tomorrow, but probably not as they take 2-6 weeks.

So, don't mess with me. I have 2 badges and one of them controvenes health and safety and is sharp!

I am the Law! Behold the badge of doom!

Serenity Again

I liked Firefly. I really liked Serenity (even if it wrecked the damn Reaver myths dammit). It may be the best thing Joss Whedon ever did, as Buffy went stale for me around Season 3 and got progressively worse, while Angel was always fantastic but started to fade away around Season 5 (though if it had got a Season Six would've been so epic). Firefly never got the chance to go stale because it was cancelled way before it's time. And Serenity was good but I always hoped it'd be the first in a series of movies. Apparently it won't be, which is sad, as the cast are genuinely talented and doubtless have lots of good acting gigs on the go (especially Fillion, aka Mal).


I was in Page 45 in Nottingham (finally remember Dr. Sordid posting it was the "grown-up" shop ages ago and went for a looksie) and I saw a graphic novel of Serenity - Those Left Behind. The original Dark Horse issues went like hotcakes (which makes me wonder just how unprofitable Serenity was given it's comics are worth a mint), and semi-amusingly even Nathan Fillion (Mal) had problems buying issues for his family without being fleeced by some city slicker.

The storyline is set bang between the last episode of the series (one of the weaker ones IMHO) and the movie. It ends with Inara getting off the ship and Book deciding to do the same. I believe I read somewhere that Joss wanted to do an Animatrix type prequel to Serenity The Movie but didn't get funding, and that this was the script (or more likely synopsis the other authors worked with). It certainly does resolve one of the plot-threads from the TV series, the Hands of Blue - who were frequently seen chasing our heroes and killing people with their weird devices but never actually caught up with them in the 13 episodes run.

The comic didn't work for me. It's not bad per-se and I recommend you read it if you like Firefly/Serenity. It was only 3 issues long, and to me needed to be a six issue mini-series.

Maybe Serenity needs to be on a TV to work for me, maybe the plot was too close to the movie (it opens with a raid on a bank, the middle is in a spaceship graveyard and so on). The witty banter was there - but again I think I needed to hear it, not read it.

It could also be the main reason I bought it was to finally see what those god-damn-hands-of-blue fellas were about, and after 2 issues of buildup they last roughly five seconds against Simon, River, Book, Kaylee and Wash, without any revelation of what made them so special, and without them remembering to use their funky nosebleed devices. They basically die hastily so that the Alliance can call the Operative and begin the movie.

The comic also goes to the bother of digging up Lawrence Dobson from the first episode (he was the Alliance agent shot in the eye and apparently if the show had gone on for more than 13 episodes would've popped up pissed at being maimed by Mal - I had to look this up, it's been a while) only to have him decisively killed of by Mal in slightly more time than it takes the secondary characters to kill the Hands of Blue.

So the upshot - buy this book if you're a completist (it's going between the Firefly boxed set once I err... buy it and my Serenity DVD).

Also Wikipedia reckons Dark Horse are doing another miniseries - one that sees the crew of Serenity pulling off a successful job which results in unexpected wealth called Serenity: Better Days. I'll buy the trade no doubt when it comes out. Hopefully it'll be a little better.

Chad Vader: The Story So Far

This trailer is pretty cool - it also has a lot of the funnier parts of the early episodes thrown in for good measure.

Chad Vader Episode 6

Chad Vader Episode 6 - better than 3,4 and 5, but still not as funny as the first couple. The Obi-Wan guy really ain't that funny.

Happy Birthday Blog!

In all the excitement I forgot to wish my blog a Happy Birthday. I started writing it on the 21st of February 2005 in preparation for the move to Leicester, and I'm still writing it. Worryingly this represents the most commitment in my life at the moment!

Since I forgot it's birthday I'd better get it something on the way home.

The Name's Kerrigan, Stuart Kerrigan

You Are 80% Gentleman

You are definitely a gentleman. You're very considerate and you have excellent manners. Occasionally, you slip and do something foolish... but usually no one notices!

Are You A Gentleman?

The Birthday

I decided to enjoy a late lie, a shower and shave before putting on fresh clothes and going to work feeling respectable. Then came the knock at the door - which I opened assuming it was the postman who had somehow having ninja'd his way past the security door and was clutching some massive parcel he was unable to shove through my letterbox.

I was therefore somewhat surprised when it was the building maintenance chaps standing there, staring at me in my bathrobe. However this was better than last time when they knocked on the door at some ungodly hour, burst in and decided the best way to investigate the leak in my bathroom was to check out the bedroom where I was hastily changing to answer the door first.

Apparently after reporting my shower leaking in December my lottery numbers had come up and they were here to tear up my bathroom and replace the shower cubicle. The net result of this exchange was that they graciously allowed me twenty minutes to get ready I went to work looking like a hobo with 2 days worth of stubble, and in the first clothes I could find lying around. Using some of the 20 minutes to check the post I was somewhat disturbed by my present from mum and dad - a pair of pink lined rubber gloves complete with ring and pearls. As I walked to work I tried to contemplate the significance of this gift... were my folks indeed trying to say:-

1. "Son, we think you are gay." (hence the pink lining and girly pearls)
2. "Son, we think you need to find a lass and marry her." (hence the ring on the rubber gloves)
3. "Son, it's your turn to do the dishes when you go back to Dundee." (the most likely)

I got into work and discovered a card on my desk. As Andy pointed out it was either from him or Ben. I'll let you guess who it was from, but let me give you a hint - it wasn't the tosser.

Work progressed a little slowly with only surly students making rather humorous errors in an effort to amuse me. After midday when I went upstairs for lunch and ate the most odd chicken baguette and drank a pint bought for me by the gracious Mr A. who let the rest of the staff know this was my birthday. This was followed at 1:30pm by me taking an extended lunch break and going to the student's union beer festival, which was cheap.



This also meant that after lunch I had already consumed 3 pints of beer. I was somewhat unwilling to continue imbibing alcohol as I had nightmares of getting drunk and somehow waking up the next morning with a fit of amnesia to discover I'd taken B. home with me. It also meant that after lunch I was somewhat less than efficient.

However I didn't have long to work - at 4:30pm I was dragged across the Student's Union for a pint, then back to the staffroom for another pint - the net result being I had consumed 5 pints while at work that day. That's probably not much compared to other folks, but at least Scott Adams would be proud I'd beaten the system.

Amazingly still sober I staggered home at 6pm to quickly try out my new shower (which still leaks everywhere), shave and get ready for a nice meal at La Tasca. Which I had, and was very nice, despite people assuming I lost control of my camera after 2 pitchers of sangria. La Tasca's is very nice - and gets the seal of approval. Much tapas, sangria and weird cocktails later I collapsed at the far too respectable time of 2am.

So apologies for the long rambly post: in a nutshell very good birthday.

Age, Juju and Fuzz

It's been a while since I posted an update saying how things are going. Mainly because it'd be a long rambly post and because I was waiting for something interesting to happen to blog about.

Things are going good - in fact I was going to reflect how things are much better they are than this time a year ago. Tomorrow's my birthday and in honour of this the university has decided to host a beer festival. (Actually I'm pretty certain they were going to have one anyroads, but allow an old man his senile delusions).

Work has seen its fair share of bad juju - but the juju has been aimed at someone deserving for being a pain in the backside for 2 years. I'll make a long ranty post about it sometime.

I saw Hot Fuzz on Wednesday with some chums - actually quite a lot of chums. It's very, very good - the first half is quite slow but the second half is cinematic brilliance and the idea of Lethal Weapon type cop films being transplanted into southern English villages works on so many levels. I'd say it tops Shaun of the Dead, but that may be the post-cinema afterglow talking.

Anyroads, that is for me to be honest - beer tomorrow, followed by Tapas which will hopefully rival the ones in Glasgow's merchant city.

The Source Reviewed

The postman delivered my Russian DVD of Highlander: The Source today. Oddly it comes without any special features. :) However I was slightly alarmed to open the jewel case and find no DVD - until I realised those whily chaps had put the DVD in a separate envelope inside the DVD case to prevent it getting loose or scratched. Actually a very sensible idea for a postal DVD company.

I'd read some pretty negative reviews of it, and had actually downloaded it before hand but managed to keep my willpower and only peaked at the film before the DVD arrived at my door. Then after digesting the Source and a roast dinner I thought I'd share my thoughts.

Overall the Source is not bad, it's not as good as Endgame as it lacks any attempt at real depth. It's pretty much a no-brainer 90 minute action movie - there's not much sophistication to the plot.

Pretty much the story is that it is the near future. The world is falling apart, or at least Eastern Europe is. Duncan MacLeod is depressed because his latest wife has left him to go seek something mysterious. He is seemingly tracking her through "Eastern Europe" (at least that's what the subtitles said, it's actually Lithuania) when he sees the results of a massive quickening, meets the Immortal who received it, gets his ass handed to him by said immortal and escapes, falling in with Joe Dawson and Methos from the TV show, along with his wife Anna, a cockney stereotype immortal called Reggie and Cardinal Giovanni who are all looking for the Source. They all seem pretty up on where the Source is, and the immortal who is guarding it - the Guardian. They don't seem to waste much time discussing it or explaining how they suddenly know all this stuff that they never mentioned in the TV series before going off on a modern day Lord of the Rings style jaunt.

Suffice it to say by the end only Duncan and Anna are left, and he has to claim the power of the Source to defeat the Guardian. The final fight is very matrixy, but seems okay, if a little anti-climactic.

Overall the acting seems pretty good. With the exception of Joe the rest of the cast are British or European and give a good performance. The only character I felt got short shift was Cardinal Giovanni (pictured) - how exactly he became a catholic cardinal is a mystery - at first he appears serene and wise, if a little arrogant, but before long he's whimpering, selling everyone down the river and claiming he's The One and that God shines on him, and generally being an unhelpful twat that reminds me of a certain someone I know in real life. Not exactly cardinal material, much less the kind of material that survives for thousands of years - if he'd obviously become genuinely unhinged by certain events in the film it'd be nice if they made it clearer.

Anyroads, nice no-brainer film, but no real depth that adds to the source material of Highlander. And some pros-and-cons...


Pros:
- No confusing flashbacks, or flashbacks within a flashback within a flashback. Endgame suffered from that problem.
- Good SFX (although the Source looks a little dodgy).
- Nice orchestral soundtrack
- Lots of Methos being Methos (albeit one who is trying to fill Duncan's shoes for most of the movie until Duncan gets his act together at the end).
- While some of the movie looks a little cheap it actually looks rather spectacular in places - there's a very nice monastery for example.

Cons:

- The Guardian is goofy, like most Highlander villains. He even sings Who Want To Live Forever (admittedly better than the covering band).
- The story doesn't really begin. There's no indication as to how Methos et al. become aware of the Source given in 6 seasons of Highlander the Series it was never mentioned.
- No Scotland. This is supposed to be Highlander.
- No historical flashbacks bar 1 short one.
- No explanation of what the Source is. Given the film is The Source you'd at least have some inkling as to its nature beyond being some sort of powerful force.
- Maybe it's me but 90 minutes is too short for a film. This film needs a decent epilogue.
- Princes of the Universe : The Karaoke Mix. ARGH! And let's not even start on Who Wants To Live Forever.

Wookie Porn!

Now I've your attention this is a post about the Star Wars Holiday Special and how I love watching it. Not alone, you understand, but rather talking over it with chums and watching as their love of Star Wars is put to the test in this 90 minute travesty.

The Star Wars Holiday Special was broadcast not long after the original movie came out in 1978 and was intended to be a variety show for the holidays (Christmas I think). The plot is that Han Solo and his buddy Chewie are desperately trying to get back to Kashyyk for Wookie Life Day, but the darn Empire keeps chasing them, lazily only via reuse of footage from A New Hope.

It all starts of reasonably well with the dramatic opening of a star destroyer chasing the Falcon, and then the announcer begins with...

Starring Mark Hamill as Luke Skywalker
Harrison Ford as Han Solo
Carrie Fisher as a very doped up looking Princess Leia
--- and so on... ----

(Alec Guinness was unwilling to reprise his role as Obi Wan Kenobi... odd that!)

Then, suddenly without warning the travesty begins as the narrator continues by "introducing Chewbacca's family... his wife Malla, his father Itchy, his son Lumpy". Yes I kid you not - then we open with what seems like an eternity as Lumpy, Itchy and Malla talk to each other in Wookie (sans subtitles). But that's not all, the Holiday Special has so much to offer:-

• Wookie porn - Granpa Lumpy gets a "wow" machine which looks like it came from a hairdresser but seems to be some sort of Wookie Porn!


• Princess Leia singing the Star Wars theme


• Princess Leia looking like she is coked up to the nines


• Luke Skywalker with far, far, far too much mascara on


• The worst coded conversation ever - "That rug you ordered will arrive. Made by hand. Hand solo you might say!"


• A four handed chef basting a turkey on Wookie TV


• Clothed wookies


• A musical extravaganza in the Star Wars cantina with Bea Arthur

However it is a little known fact that the Holiday Special saw the appearance of Boba Fett in a little animated short. This cartoon is probably the only respectable bit of the Holiday Special and feels like it was meant to be part of a bigger story that never got made.

If you are morbidly curious the entire holiday special is on YouTube, but be prepared for your brain to hurt!



There is also a five minute long version that really shows you everything you need to know.

Am I A Bird, A Plane?

Your results:
You are Superman

Superman 90% Green Lantern 80% Spider-Man 70% Hulk 70% Robin 62% Catwoman 60% Iron Man 55% The Flash 55% Supergirl 52% Wonder Woman 42% Batman 35%

You are mild-mannered, good, strong and you love to help others.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

Another Source

Another trailer for Highlander: The Source - this time in Russian.

The Seven Deadly Sins

Pride and Gluttony - who'd have known it.

Your Gluttony Quotient: 72%

Eating is not just a hobby for you - it's your life. And while your friends do appreciate your good taste in food, they're a little disgusted by how fast you shovel it down.

How Much Gluttony Do You Have?

Your Greed Quotient: 32%

You're a little greedy, but generally you don't let your desire get the better of you. You know that good things will come to you - as long as you wait your turn!

How Much Greed Do You Have?

Your Sloth Quotient: 29%

You're a little lazy, but normally you're a very energetic and motivated person. Don't beat yourself up over a little laziness every now and then. You do need your downtime!

How Much Sloth Do You Have?

Your Wrath Quotient: 50%

Ouch! You've got a bit of a temper going on there, don't you? Just make sure to keep your revenge fantasies just that... fantasies only!

How Much Wrath Do You Have?

Your Lust Quotient: 39%

You are a fairly lustful person, but nothing out of the norm. You usually keep your lust under control, but sometimes it gets the better of you.

How Much Lust Do You Have?

Your Envy Quotient: 55%

You are an envious person, but only at times. Perhaps certain situations trigger your envy. Or maybe you're especially jealous when you're feeling insecure. Instead of letting that green monster out, work on making your own life better. And then maybe people will be envious of you.

How Much Envy Do You Have?

Your Pride Quotient: 71%

You're beyond proud - you think you're honorary royalty. And while you may be nice on occasion, it's usually just to get what you want.

How Much Pride Do You Have?

Precocious Laird?

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Most Noble and Honourable Stuart the Precocious of Bumswick by the Hole Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

Russian Mafia Discs

I've ordered Highlander 5 on DVD from DVDigitall, even though the official US release is September 2007. Apparently 'an early cut' been released in Russia of all places, straight to DVD. I'll probably watch and maybe even sell the Russian one on ebay and buy the proper DVD when it comes out.

Don't worry - I paid paypal so the mafia don't have my credit card details, and it seems the DVD and certainly the website are legit. I'm looking forward to watching this film, though the mutterings I've heard from those who already have the DVD suggest the film is not going to be amazing, unless they have some pretty major reshoots due before September 2007!

Expect a review forthcoming, but for now everything is in the hands of the Russian postal service.

Bevare Ze Milky Pirate!

This may be the most surreal music video I have ever seen.

At Least I'm Not Lazenby...

Your results:
You are Sean Connery

Sean Connery 47% Pierce Brosnan 43% Timothy Dalton 42% Daniel Craig 42% George Lazenby 36% Roger Moore 31%

The original actor to play James Bond in a movie is generally regarded as the best. Sean Connery has always been the epitome of sexiness, suaveness and sophistication.

Click here to take the "Which James Bond am I?" quiz...

The Doctor Who Code

Season 1 had Daleks, Season 2 had the Cybermen, so it makes sense Season 3 has the Master right? Well apparently so as the Sun, Metro and the Independant report John Simm of Life on Mars is to play the Master. (Also purely by coincidence a Master boxed set of Tom Baker/Peter Davidson episodes has just been released).

This means there have been (arguably) six people to play the Master:-

Master 1 - Roger Delgado, moustache twirling Bond villain.
Master 2 - Peter Pratt, zombie with pingpong eyes.
Master 3 - Geoffrey Beevers, still a zombie but played by someone else
Master 4 - Anthony Ainley, moustache twirling pantomine villain.
Master 5 - Eric Roberts, of the McGann movie
Master 6 - John Simm?

Also, Mister Saxon is an anagaram of "On Master Six".

Cunning eh? And yet, given the lack of sophistication Bad Wolf and Torchwood metaplots I suspect this is too clever by half and probably not true. But it's scarily coincidental nonetheless...

More Ghosts of Files Past

After threatening to bore people with my scribblings as a writer I was digging around on my almost defunct but still standing Dundee University Homepage I managed to find a copy of my first professionally paid article from Dungeon. If I recall a couple more followed, but AFAIK no-one saw the need to scan them. Anyroads, here it is for posterity.

Speak of the Devil...

... and it appears. There's a new Highlander: The Source trailer on the web, which is good as the previous one was a bit amateurish.


1. Good grief! Never, ever ever ever cover a Queen song again. If I was going to update Queen for 2007 I'd still keep Freedie's vocals.
2. This looks even more angsty than Highlander Endgame.
3. The dark future setting doesn't look particularly dark in this trailer.
4. That's Joe driving. Hello Joe!
5. Good dialogue.

Duncan: "What do you want from me?"
Anna: "The impossible."
Stuart: "Typical woman."

There's Nothing Like A Challenge...

...To Bring Out The Best In Man.

Scenes like these remind me why I like Highlander 2 despite some plotholes. I may be the only person on Earth to feel this way, but hey-ho.



Mind you it's still not as good as my all-time favourite part of the series, even if it is a lot more depressing.

This Weekend I 'Av Been Mostly...

Making the most of things - as it appears I will be working the next two weekends. Then after that I intend to be mostly recovering from getting older. I'm going to be 27, but at least I won't be 28 and thus no-longer mid-20s. So before it's time to start running the carousel I had a fairly good weekend despite impending old age - visiting Coventry and spending a ridiculous amount of time shopping in its game shop, Bishop Games.

In addition I played poker, and didn't suck entirely. I even went to a party and had a student there who insisted on calling me sir all night and asked me for advice on alcohol. Much drunkeness, thankfully not all mine.

I've been playing Outrun 2006 Coast 2 Coast. I loved the original Outrun and Turbo Outrun on my C64 and recently had the chance to play the arcade and missed it. The new fangled Outrun is a little too bells-and-whistles for my liking, clearly overly influenced by Ferrari too much, but it plays similar to the original and it's nice to play a gmae that doesn't take a month to complete.

I've also been playing Oblivion - or more accurately it's Knights of Nine expansion. Oblivion has the problem of getting very repetitive, though Knights of Nine was a fun distraction it seems I basically reformed a knighthood that now sit around drinking tea and thinking about doing things. In addition to doing the data disk I've nearly completed the main plot and am the dizzy heights of level 4 - I'm beginning to think my OOO path is reducing my advancement rate.

ITV 4's doing a John Carpenter season and for the first time I watched the original Fog. 100 years after the founding fathers of a town destroyed a leper colony and half-inched its gold the Nazgulish lepers come back in some magical fog. Obviously The Thing is regarded as his best, but I'm waiting for Prince of Darkness to come back on. Physicists vs. the Devil in a weird science-meets-religion-fest with Alice Cooper thrown in.

An Uncharacteristic Music Post

I'm not normally one to discuss my musical tastes, bt I have come to the conclusion from listening to their albums Sumerland are fantastic. It's rare that a band produces an album I like more than 2 tracks on, but every track on Imaginary Ways meets my exacting standards.

We now return you to our regular bloggage.

New Vistas

Vista is out. I actually have a copy as its free to download for all students and staff in the CS department who join Academic Alliance (and I imagine the entire University but don't quote me on that), but I've yet to install it for fear that it will replace my unlicensed and unkeyed whiny Windows XP with an OS that is fully legit but no longer speaks to my wireless adaptor, USB devices, soundcard or graphics card. Or more worryingly that it will work perfectly at an initial glance but some insidious problems will bubble to the surface.

Maybe when the Family edition comes out on Academic Alliance I'll dabble. I've played around and like what I saw, though there seems little tangible benefit in upgrading other than a pretty desktop.

So for now my expert? advice is to follow this guy:-

Gen Con No More

Peter Adkison has closed down another Gen Con apparently. Having met Peter I can say having enough money to make you a rockstar doesn't mean you can relate to the likes who go to Gen Con.

I still count his Gen Con UK 2003 as my favourite though even though it pretty much was the deathknell for Gen Con UK for me (Gen Con UK is on, but I can never seem to make it even though it's always ridiculously southern venues are nearer to Leicester than Dundee). I was staying free at the Olympia Hilton in London, being paid £10 a pop in trade hall vouchers to run games people weren't turning up to, and because the venue was only 1/4 full the trade stalls were discounting their stuff like mad. The net result was I nearly had to pay excess baggage for all the swag I was carrying.

Which remind me I've been meaning to put up some of my old modules I wrote in 2001-2004 when quite frankly I should've been writing my thesis. I keep getting asked for these so it'll save a lot of time...

Glaive's Gambit - my first quasi-professionally published D&D scenario, and probably my favourite. A murder mystery that came at a time when Greyhawk scenarios weren't particularly cerebral, that was so popular I was encouraged to make it into a trilogy.

The Blazing Banner - the second part of my trilogy, which frankly shows too much of Babylon 5's influence.

There was also a prequel to The Blazing Banner I can't seem to find, written by the most scholarly Dr. Paul Looby who really should've gotten more credit prior to Part 3. I'll dig that and Part 3 out another time.

How To Keep Your Secret Identity.

Or rather how Superman 2 should have ended.

The Haggis of Karma: No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Updated with added crunchiness and accuracy


New from the makers of long rambling stories about how weird their day has been comes a new rambling story about how weird their day has been. And here it is. It is long. It rambles. Hopefully it makes you laugh. Living it certainly made me laugh.

We had snow here in Leicester finally. It's been a little chilly since Sunday and yesterday my car boot froze locked. Rather unhandily I unlocked it manually and managed to freeze it unlocked. Fortunately I was marking at home and was able to fix it eventually.

Anyroads - snow! Or more precisely slush and ice. See for yerself:-



Not exactly Siberia yet, but it was pretty chilly.

Today I had a UCAS day and decided to dress smart for my talk. I had recently purchased a very new and comfy set of trousers. Now gentle reader, you may be wondering the reason for this rather unnecessary detail in the tale. You may think that I have finally flipped my marbles but I assure you that this minor detail of the trousers will prove relevant in a minute.

Somehow today was going to be special I decided to go outside and check my mailbox before going to work. For the first time in a while there was a parcel sitting in my box. As I peered round the corner I wandered was this those CDs I had ordered nearly a month ago from the States? Nope - it was amusingly a tin of haggis mailed to me from my good pal and fellow intellectual Dr. Steve reminding me tomorrow it is Burn's Night. He proudly told me he had spent a great whopping 49p on the haggis and handily provided me the relevant verses of prose (along with humorous translation from broad Scot's into English) to recite whilst consuming said tinned haggis. For that I salute him and will need to mail him up a little surprise of my own... In the meantime the following photo should justify the P&P:-



I made my way, now one haggis richer, to work in the difficult weather. At the corner of the road I spied an old lady struggling through the worst of the ice at Stoneygate Road. I ended up helping her all the way to Avenue Road and got told that I would get my reward in heaven. However as I already had been given a random haggis I thought, to quote Haley Joe Osmond, Steve'd already "paid it forward".

Anyroads, a few paces on I discovered I'd not quite removed all the labels off my new trousers. As I did, I just thought it was amusing what the label said given the situation...



It seemed funny enough at the time. Perhaps I had mild hypothermia.

Going into work I finished off the last of my exam marking only to be given more marking to do. At the Uni you know you are working well when more people are giving you work to do. This is clearly a philosophy B. takes to heart given his attempts to do as little work as possible.

As to B. - he'd been behaving like a human being for nearly a week now. I was shocked - other than being inexplicably upset that my Christmas present of a jacket might be more expensive than his Christmas gifts he'd been relatively normal. We'd even for the first time managed to choose office hours without him screaming and flatly refusing to do any office hours as he is too busy verbally handing out marks to the students or driving back from Durham for his midday lunch break on a Monday (actually he did remind us not to put him down for Monday mornings because of his 2 hour commute on a Monday).

Anyroads, the conversation started innocently enough:-

B: "Hrmph. I'm doing 4 office hours and 2 hours of labs that last until 6:30pm on Thursday. Can I swap office hours with someone?"
A: "Sure... why don't we swap some of my hours on a Friday."
B: "Yes. No. No. No. I don't want to do any on Friday."
A: "Why?"
B: "That's when all my handins are - the students will pester me at the last minute. This way if they have any last minute handin questions they'll need to see me on Thursday evening. If they haven't done it by then they're stupid."
A: "Er... isn't that a little unprofessional? Shouldn't you help your students if they come to you?"
B: "@£&£ *&£^" and so on as we tried once again to point out his job is to help the students...

We've had this conversation endlessly - you can listen to an example of it here.

The upshot is B. thinks A. and I are there to answer all his module queries when he can't be arsed, but that he does not have to do the same for our module queries. Usually this involves him mentioning that he can't do it and backtracking to simply saying he won't do it.

This time revealed some interesting new tidbits. A while back B. had been on at the boss to raise our office support from 8 hours a week to 10 hours a week despite the fact he is the one who most vehemently objects to doing it. Today he proudly explained to us this was a cunning ploy to get us to request exactly the opposite as apparently we only want the opposite of what he wants.

Admittedly I had tried to get down to 6 hours/week due to the large volumes of lectures I had taken on, but his seriousness at admitting to wasting my time, A's time and both our bosses time with all the pointless discussion left me literally falling off my seat in laughter and saying, "So next time you express an opinion we should assume you mean the opposite? Or are you clever enough that it's a double negative, or a triple negative? Maybe we should flip a coin to decide what your opinion is in future." Or better yet - replace him with a magic 8-ball!

B. doesn't seem to like it when people laugh at him during his tantrums apparently, as this made him a little confused but I had to leave.

I was somewhat surprised when B. came back in from lunch and hung around outside the window listening to us to see if we were talking about him. Eventually it was time for me to go set up my talk (I left an hour early admittedly) and I opened the door, causing B. to nearly fall into the office. As I stepped into the corridor he walked in, sat down at the helpdesk and started loudly complaining about how pointless it was. He then proceeded, for no other apparent reason than it was his office hour, to call A. a word that implies he may not know who his father is, followed by numerous loud explitives.

Now, not-so-longtime readers of my blog will remember the Door Story. The door to our office is not so soundproof as it once was and by this point I was well down the corridor. Andy had also mentioned to B. this was a UCAS day and he should therefore try to be behave but nonetheless his childish swearing and namescalling was clearly audible throughout the corridor. I turned back, put my face against the door and pointed out to B. I could hear everything he was saying and that any passing students could too. For my sins I joined the "dubious family tree" aka Bastard club and received two fingers I'm fairly certain was meant to be impertinence and not information.

Suffice it to say there is no a notice outside our door saying if you are a student and are here to see B. you are out of luck on a Friday, or a Shrove Tuesday...

After that he managed to disturb me again with my marking by yelling at one of our lecturers that the mistakes in his course were not his fault and hanging up. I really feel sorry for the poor chaps on the other end of the phone some days...

Shaking my head at poor A. I walked off thinking about how B. puts me in mind of Ash, (thanks Jamalen) the psychotic android, from Alien - he's always saying he's busy collating, actually works against the team and is a pretty unpleasant and unhelpful individual with violent mood swings. He hasn't tried to choke me with a copy of our office porn yet - but I'm sure it's a matter of turn. Also I recall they dealt with Dallas with the business end of a flamethrower - there might be something in that.

Anyroads, trudging home in the cold to race around Leicester looking for a birthday present for my dad I reflected on my day, and how weird it had been.

Just What Is In A Name?

1. YOUR REAL NAME:
Charles Stuart Edmund Kerrigan (for real)

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle.)
Chaizzle

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal)
Yellow Spaniel

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name)
Edmund London

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name)
Kerchsil

6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink).
Blue Max (should be Blue Pepsi Max, but Blue Pepsi Max sounds kinda rubbish for fighting crime)

7. YOUR IRAQI NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name)
Hreiear

8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (father's middle name)
Joseph - nice and non-descript.

9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets)
The Black Sweep