This month I have been watching...

I watch films. Possibly too many. Here's my thoughts on them...

The Sword and the Sorcerer: Conan with no money, too much nudity and an illogical plot. If only I could erase it from my memory.

Bubba-Hotep: Elvis and JFK track down a mummy attacking an old folk's home. Bruce Campbell at his best, but this is pretty good, not stellar as the reviews I read implied.

Constantine: Keanu Reeves as Keanu saves the world from demons thanks to some twins. Passable but I'm told the comic is better.

Ring 2: Passable, but ultimately a retread of the original US Ring. The Japanese Ring 2 was much better.

Warriors of Heaven and Earth: Not a Power-Rangers movie as the title suggests, this is actually a pretty good movie set in the Gobi Desert, the story follows two protagonists, Lieutenant Li, who is being chased by the heroic Japanese emissary Lai Xi for not butchering innocents. Unfortunately the rivalry between the two chaps is not resolved properly, but the effects and story is good. I think they hired the voice cast of Icewind Dale and Baldur's Gate to dub this film.

Shogun Assassin: Hack-slash gorefest. Very good.

Hackers: Angelina Jolie? A hacker? Everyone else at this school hacks defence systems like they were going out of business. So you can hack into the school's computers and remotely set off the sprinkler systems? Pure crap.

Lethal Weapon 2: Mel and Danny blow things up but with Joe Pesci as comic relief. South Africans are evil, except for ones played by Patsy Kensit. Lesson learned.

Earthsea: Pure pish. A vacuous adaption of a good series of novels except with all the good bits either removed or mucked about with unnecessarily.

Krull: Cheesy classic sci-fi fantasy. Brilliant.