Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Great Sizzling Brains!

Or rather... new glasses, bit dodgy. Not exactly working out well.

On Friday after getting my new glasses I went "Woohoo!", pulled them on at work, worked happily until 15 minutes later when I looked down at my keyboard and felt my breakfast putting on its scarf and hat for a ten o'clock excursion across the function keys. Deciding I'd rather not spend my last month scraping my keyboard clean of second hand shredded wheat I eventually relented and went back to working without said apparel. On Friday evening I put the glasses on to watch some TV but did feel a bit queazy when I tried to do the dishes. Reasoning I didn't need my goggles to do either task I put them away.

On Saturday I went into town to go boating. I wore the sunglasses they'd given me and my eyes felt nice and rested, except for when I took them off in Primark and found the heat, crowds and ugliness of the shop made me unable to focus for about 10 minutes.

During the boating I must've missed the call for sunscreen and didn't bother to wear a pirate hat like the rest of me shipmates so it was no wonder I was the only one who got slightly burned. This burn, combined with a lack of food etc. turned into heatstroke. By about 10pm my eyes were totally unable to focus, in fact the glasses seemed to make things worse.

By about 6pm on Sunday my eyes were barely able to stay open, and I was feeling decidely unwell in the pub. I had to drive back with very, very badly impaired vision. I could barely recognise one of my neighbours walking up the drive. Thankfully Glen was there to make sure I couldn't fall asleep etc. Danny amused me by thinking I was having a heart-attack, I looked so crook.

On Monday the doctor confirmed I had heatstroke, and that combined with the new specs meant that I was feeling really unwell. I had a repeat scary drive to and from the surgery, and bought a ton of food to avoid the Catch-22 of being to ill to drive to the store and needing food to get better to drive to the store.

Today I felt a lot better, but went to the opticians on my GPs orders. They retested me and my glasses. The optician didn't take too well to me calling their experiment of measuring my lenses without referring to the prescription as a "double blind test". Apparently they don't like to use the phrase "double blind" in their profession. As a consequence of this they are altering my prescription, but don't think it'll prove signficiant.

I'm sure a lot of this is psychosomatic. Losing my eyesight is probably my #1 nightmare - actually, my #2 nightmare. Longtime readers will remember my #1 nightmare (and Egor's wonderful psychological diagnosis).

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