Students call me all sorts of things. Some of them I even hear about, or read about. Some of them can even be repeated. For example some people email me saying "Dear Dr. Stuart" or "Dr. Kerrigan". However in the gr8 t3xt cult00r we live in these days emails tend to be a lot less formal, and riddled with umpteen typos, poor grammar and more often than not my name wrong.
One particular student wrote "Dear Sir Stuart", which is great, but surely they should know the correct address is "Lord Stuart" or, more appropriately "Lord Kerrigan". However until her maj decides to add me to the nansy-boy club that is the knighthood Sir Stuart it ain't.
More disturbingly one poor student, desperate to submit her coursework on time referred to me as "Mrs. Kerrigan". Now, short of a painful operation or an accident while running with scissors, Mrs. Kerrigan it ain't.
Which reminds me I was called Steve by another student in conversation today. In fact this has happened a lot since I moved to Leicester. People don't quite hear my name and they assume I was introduced as Steve. They say I look like a Steve. I personally think it's due to exposure to a Steve that I have developed Steve-like qualities. But I am not Steve. I am pretty certain of this. In fact if this persists I may have to write a book called "I am not Steve" and then in my dotage write one called "Shucks. Yes I am Steve. But arrest that man anyway."
So in short, Stuart, milord, Dr. Stu, Dr. Kerrigan, Doc or (most preferrably) Lord Kerrigan it is. :P
Yours with much ego,