So, let's flash back a couple of weeks and recap the whole holiday in...
After driving through the infernal mists that seemed to shroud the entire M1 I made it home by car. This meant by the morning of the 23rd I didn't really fit for much except watching Peep Show and Dead Zone on DVD.
On Christmas Eve however I slept in, but managed to do some literal last minute shopping. Fortunately all I needed by this point was a DVD of Shrek for Dad to go with his mulled wine and some toys for the dogs (given how rarely I see them I thought it best to spoil them). Those infernal mists however blanketed the entire town...
As is something of a tradition I went to the Kittywake in the evening with Gregor, Mare, Steve and Jenna. We bumped into other Monifieth High School survivors but curiously this year there were fewer of them. If we outcasts start to outnumber the cool kids things will get weird. Also the Kittywake called last orders at a ridiculously early time. We went back to Egor and Mare's palatial mansion before my folks showed up to drag Mare and myself to midnight mass.
I guess midnight mass sets up Christmas nicely on our family. It used to be optional but since I moved away I make the effort to go with my folks. It also means we typically open our presents around 2am and have a nice lie-in.
However I have size 12 and a bit feet, which means lowering the prayer stools in St. Bride's is a little difficult. For those of you not in the know prayer mats are things you lower down to kneel on to save wear and tear on your knees. Most churches etc. have them.
Anyroads as I'm gently trying to lower the mat around my freakishly large feet without dislocating my leg and popping it behind my neck my dad decides they're low enough for him to kneel on. This has the net effect of him crushing a rather painful toe-nail with his weight, and we Kerrigans are not exactly light on our feet. Then there's me desperately trying to attract his attention while not screaming out in church. I hear they frown on that.
My attempts to alert him to this minor problem were in vain until the rest of the row in church leap on the prayer stools as well.
Is our hero going to have to hop for the rest of his days? Find out in Part 2.
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